Providence

Providence means the hand of God.  One of my favorite words.  I love knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is providence in my life.  I have spent some time in the book of Romans this week and God has reminded me of many things.  I have a very conflicted heart right now.  I personally have a happy heart.  I am eager to see where my future is taking me.  I know that God is leading me down a path full of promise and happiness.  However, I am also following a friends journey with her daughters battle with cancer.  It has resurface so many memories and feelings.  I know exactly where she is in this.  I just wish she wasn’t so far away.  I know how very difficult it was dealing with the unknown of your spouse and then losing him.  I cannot however, fathom how it is watching your child go through the same things.  I am so very thankful for the time I got with Adam, especially in the end.  I was honored to take care of his every need, the good, the bad and even the ugly.  Cancer is so very ugly.  I have been asked if cancer is from God.  I think no!  I think it is just the opposite actually.  I think cancer is the devil, it is eating away at so many lives all around us and there is little we can do to stop it.  I know that God promises us this;

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose..”   Romans 8:28

I believe that during these most difficult times in life that God will indeed create something wonderful.  These trials and sorrows will allow us to seek Him even further.  I know that I have.  I want God to create a future for me that is His plan.  The moment that I let go, He took control.  I am so eager to see His plan come to fruition.  He has amazed me.  I will continue to pray for my dear college friend and her family.   Our great God is so much bigger than I can imagine and I know that He is still in control.  I will trust Him with my whole heart and allow Him to continue to move in my life.