I am struggling with the twins. They are sick to death of sharing everything. I know it must be hard. They tend to be our most laid back of the crew. I have bragged for years that they are the easiest, that I would have a dozen just like them. Today, I am taking it back! Lately though, they are constantly arguing, bickering, picking at, poking at, and today hitting. This is all relatively new for us. They have always been best friends. I have always tried to keep them as individuals, and recognize their differences. They are as different as night and day. But they do have a lot of the same interests. I cannot imagine, sharing a room, clothes, toys, and looks with someone! (I mean they have their own things, but most of it is shared property by their choice.) I am at an impasse here. We are taking away video games, screen time, and other things when these battles occur. We are a united front as parents right now. However, it is hard! I know that a lot of the issue is hormones. They are almost 12, and dealing with all sorts of changes and hormonal imbalances.
On the total flip side, they both have excellent grades! I have received notes, emails and phone calls from multiple teachers for both of them. They are telling me what a joy and pleasure they are to teach, and that they are always kind, courteous, respectful and participate in class. I know they are good boys. And oh they can be so stinking sweet, but for the love of all that is good and holy!!! They may not live to see Christmas at this rate.
Parenting is so hard most days. It is even harder when your normally easy going duo is ready to duke it out! Maybe boxing is the answer…hahaha! I don’t have an answer yet, but today we sent one off with Dad, and one stayed home, they needed a time out. I also am well aware that they are both introverts, like me. They have been around people for several days now and both need some serious down time. Over stimulation is overwhelming for introverts like us. That does not excuse their behavior, but does help me to understand it better. All I can do now is continue to be consistent with them and pray! I am thankful that this is a phase, and that they will move past it. I am thankful that they do love one another. I am thankful that they are best friends. I love that they like having different opinions, and ideas. Now we will work on listening to each other and respecting the other. We will work on compromise and maybe even find something to do separately!! We will continue to show them the love of God and to teach them His ways.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I would think being a twin as a teen must be difficult. I know brothers have an ‘eb and flow’ and we experience this our boys even in their twenties. It’s all about finding their place and I bet it’s MORE competitive when you share your most personal day! I bet you’ve read these but two required readings for boy moms that have truly helped me understand boys better- my sons, my husband, and even the boys in my class at school- Etheridge’s Wild at Heart and Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys.
Hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing: You are raising Godly men in a world that TRULY needs them.
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