People can be hurtful. It can be through words or actions, but regardless of how it happens, it effects you. I have recently dealt with several different hurts that I never saw coming. I have spent a lifetime recovering from hurts and disappointments. I often wonder how I am still standing. Why do I continue to open myself up to hurt and to people who I know are just going to disappoint me at some point in our relationship. Then I am reminded that the only one that could never hurt me or let me down is God. My past hurts and future hurts cannot be avoided or forgotten. But they can be forgiven. Forgiveness is hard. It is something that I struggle with. My first hurt began when my biological father chose to walk out of my life. I could never understand why. I likely never will. Especially now that I am a mom. He has his own issues that I will not delve into for this post, but as a young adult I realized that if I didn’t forgive him, it would only destroy me. It would not effect him in a negative way. He wouldn’t know because he wasn’t in contact with me. And when he was, that contact was not healthy for me mentally. I had to forgive him in order to let go of the hurt. I had to move forward and learn from the hurt. I had to allow God to heal my heart. I had to ask God to forgive him through Him because I was not capable of doing it on my own. It took a lot of time and A LOT of prayers. It still hurts, but not in the same way it did when I was younger.
Move on to young love and there were many hurts throughout the years. But that is part of growing up. Learning to love and losing love. It is hard to have your heart broken in various ways. There have been friends too that have come in and out of my life. Some were due to relocation, distance or circumstances out of our control. Some chose to walk away. Some were professional relationships and others were personal. A hurting heart is often a broken one.
In today’s world, I can be and have been hurt by things I see on the news, in the media or on social networking. Hurtful things are everywhere. I have allowed broken trust and hurt to make my heart very guarded. I don’t let a lot of people in my inner circle. When I do let people in, there is a trust there that I cling to. There is a hope that this person shares something with me, a connection, a mutual trust and faith in one another. When that trust is broken or damaged, I struggle to allow that person to reconnect with me. I struggle to rebuild the trust where it has been broken. It is a constant internal battle that I am still fighting. Rebuilding trust is a very hard process. But rebuilding can never be successful if there is not a change in behavior. From myself, and from the person that has inflicted the hurt. Sorry is just a word. Remorse is just a temporary feeling. Repentance is the action that proves the words and feelings are sincere and from the heart.
These are my issues. I know in my heart that humans make mistakes. Make bad choices. Have their own separate issues that have nothing to do with me or mine. I know that we all fail differently, we all sin differently and that we all feel hurts differently. God and I are spending a lot of time together working on my heart struggles. He is the one that will never fail me. His love endures forever. No matter where I am in my own struggle, He is there to walk it with me. I am learning to keep my faith solely in Him and allowing myself to be more open to others. I am trying to invite more people into my life, to make connections, and create relationships with a variety of people. I have spent too many years guarding a heart that wants to love and be loved. But in the end I know the greatest connection I will have is with my heavenly Father.
Is there a person you need to forgive today? Is there hurt in your life that you cannot seem to move forward from? I encourage you to seek God’s heart and ask Him to help you love and forgive them through Him. Sometimes that is the only way I can succeed with this. It will help to put your heart to rest and allow you to move forward into beautiful relationships that He has placed in your life for a bigger purpose.
Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as Christ forgave you."