I have spent the last 17 years raising children. I have been a dance teacher, wife, mom, costumer, choreographer, nurse, dog mom, cat mom, chameleon mom, bearded dragon mom, soccer mom, baseball mom, football mom, dance mom, theater mom, band mom, orchestra mom, room mom…Now my kids are all 5 going to be in high school. I have 2 driving and 2 more with permits. I have a husband working from home and still not traveling. I am started to feel as though I have lost my purpose. I am just not quite sure who I am now. I have worn so many different hats and have worn them all for a while. Now those hats are hanging on hooks and no longer need to be worn. This stage of parenthood is tricky. I have spent so much time focusing on the needs of everyone else, I have forgotten to focus on me. What is my next phase? I am really struggling here. I am no longer needed in the same capacity that I once was. Yes, I know my children and husband still need me. I know that parenting actually is perpetual. It is just different. Once upon a time they all needed me in so many different ways, and now there is a house full of mostly independent teenagers. My role is just changing.
Now I am just trying to add value to my part in our family. I want to be able to help support us. To help the kids with college expenses and begin their adult lives. I want Matt and I to be able to travel and enjoy our years together once our kids are grown. How can I add more to our lives? I am asking God what is my purpose NOW? What does He want for me, for us? If I am where I am supposed to be in this moment, I pray for a spirit of contentment, not a spirit of unrest. I pray for guidance and wisdom as I move forward in this search. Right now I am searching my heart and seeking God. I know He only wants what is best for me.
Philippians 4:11-14, "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty."