A Not So Quiet Love

I love quiet. I like to talk, but when you grow up in a big family and then become a mom of a big family, quiet is not something that is found often. I don’t find the need to fill the silence with words. Quiet makes me happy, it recharges me! We have a balance in our house of talkers, quiet ones and listeners. It’s kind of nice. Our youngest feels uncomfortable in quiet. She wants to fill the silence because it makes her feel awkward. The twins are quiet and reflective. Joe is the conversationalist when he engages it. And Avery talks, listens and shares. Matt is a talker too. He forgets that there is such a thing as an internal monologue sometimes. It’s one of the things that drives me nuts, but it’s also one of the things I love the most about him! I love knowing what he is thinking almost all the time. Or what song is currently cued up in his head. Or whatever silly voice is going on in there. I love even more that he is constantly trying to work on that part of him because he knows I like the quiet. He is working on talking less. He has been making a conscious effort to be quieter. Adam was the complete and total opposite of Matt. He was a man of few words. When he did speak they were always thought out before he said them out loud. I also never really felt like I knew what was going on with him. He wasn’t really open with his thoughts or emotions. Matt is an open book with me. I didn’t know how much I needed that until I married him. Because he is so open and honest with me, I tend to be more open and honest with him. I spent many years keeping a lot of my thoughts and feelings quiet. I didn’t want to burden anyone with things that made me feel bad or might hurt them. So I just kept it inside. I didn’t want anyone to judge me based on what was going on in my head. I didn’t want anyone to be upset or disappointed with me because of how I was feeling. Matt has always encouraged me to be open with him. It is something that I had to work on when we got married! A lot! I like to bottle things up, shut down and compartmentalize so I don’t have to face hard or uncomfortable things. I was never good at this. Matt has been supportive and encouraging of me from the beginning. I have shared with him things I have never shared with anyone. As it should be in your marriage. If you are not sharing hard things in your marriage or holding back, your relationship may not survive. Communication is the key of any relationship. Your feelings are valid. Sometimes just opening up and talking through those feelings make you see things in a different perspective. It helps take off the burden of heavy thoughts and feelings that are weighing you down. It has helped me immensely with my mental health. Matt was a communications major, he has majorly helped me with communication!

God knows our hearts. Every part of them. He knows our deepest innermost thoughts and feelings as well. Nothing surprises Him. Be honest with him. Be honest in your relationships. Be honest with yourself! God knows where we struggle. Share it with Him, let him take your burdens. Share those struggles with someone you love. Let them help you through it. In time the sharing becomes easier. It takes practice, patience and work. Thank the Lord Matt has been patient with me in our marriage. I am blown away at how he always makes accomodations to make our marriage better. How he listens to me. How he talks to me. How he shares with me. True love cannot be quiet. Our love must be shared physically, verbally and in depth. Our love for God should not be quiet either. It should be shouted from the rooftops and shared with everyone we know. Let others know you love God and love them. Don’t keep your love quiet. You can enjoy the quiet, but don’t be quiet.

Today my house was quiet, but my love going into this Valentines Day weekend will be loud and bold and full of noise! The quiet recharges my battery and my heart. Quiet your heart but shout your love from the rooftops! Love boldly! Love Big! Love yourself!


By Laurel Austin Henson

Laurel spent 8 months caring for her first husband after being diagnosed with cancer in 2010. He passed away at 33, leaving behind a daughter of 7 and 5 year old twin boys. After sowing millions of tears, Laurel sought out God daily and began to plan for a life of being a single mother, but ready to raise their children in faith, hope and love. God gave her more than she could have ever imagined when she brought Matt into her life, along with his 2 children. He was recently divorced and the providence of God had been leading up to this life for more than 20 years! Now Laurel is reaping joy with Matt and their 5 beautiful children. Thanks be to God for all the beauty created from the ashes of death and divorce.

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